Monday, August 18, 2008

Week of reflection

It is amazing how the mind can make or break a ride. Once again I had a hard time sleeping on Friday night and the lack of sleep gave me a headache when I finally got up. The ride was taking us back to San Isidro on a 60 mile ride. The hills didn't bother me, but in the back of my mind I knew I had to go down hill. Most people cherish going fast down hill. I, on the other hand dread it. I actually think I made myself sick with the anticpation. When I got to the 30 mile mark, I got off my bike and hurled my breakfast.

I ended up in the SAG car back to my car. I had Tom drop me off at the gas station at the corner of 528 and Corrales road. I rode back sad and alone and contemplated why I was feeling so down. I knew why, but just didn't want to admit it. On my Week 7 blog entry, I wrote about a friend from church Ada Rae. Well, she passed away on Thursday and I went to the memorial service on Friday. While it was beautiful, it was also sad. My heart broke when I saw her husband walk hand in hand with their 4 year old son down the aisle. I know that she is in heaven and not in anymore pain. Apparently, her final days were difficult.

I thought about my own mortality. She was only 47, not much older than I am right now. How do you say goodbye to people you love when you pray for a miracle. I know her family will see her again when they reach heaven. I will always remember what someone told me. The only thing you can take with you when you die is your family. I know I will see my mom someday.

And, someday the big "C" will have a cure. I have to remember why I am riding. To find a cure for the big "C". My deamons will be met head on. Cancer patients do not give up, and neither will I.

Here is one of Ad Rae's favorite songs that was played at her service. I hope you enjoy it.

1 comment:

cece said...

Christiine you are a powerful and spiritual woman and I thank you for sharing your feelings so honestly! Thank you!
Love, Cece